<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>4:44 am by solesse</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718496">4:44 am</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/solesse/pseuds/solesse'>solesse</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Jealousy, Kageyama Has A Girlfriend, M/M, Masturbation, but you gotta let them suffer first, hanahaki, suffering lmao, will they end up together??? who knows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:01:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,086</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23718496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/solesse/pseuds/solesse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He turned to face his alarm clock, feeling his eyelids weigh down, and stillness seep into his bones. His last thought wondering what it would be like if Kageyama was next to him now. It was 4:44 am. </p><p>Or where Hinata finds out he likes Kageyama, only after Kageyama got a girlfriend. And as it turns out, flowers aren’t so pretty in this situation.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>294</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone!! This is my first fanfic, so I have a lot to learn, but I hope to improve after writing this. I want this fic to be maybe 3 chapters? We’ll see if it spans longer, not everything has to go to plan haha. For a while now I’ve had this idea of Hinata having hanahaki and Kageyama getting a girlfriend, and I thought it’d be good for the angst train. </p><p>If you like this fanfic, please comment or something, it’d give me a ton of motivation. Also bookmark it for future chapters! I’m done rambling now, I’ll let y’all enjoy the story :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama was always attractive. Hinata knew this, but refused to acknowledge it. It annoyed him to no end whenever he heard girls gush about how tall or how handsome Kageyama was. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was also the same person who spent more time with Kageyama than anyone else, and could confirm that Kageyama only has one braincell. That braincell is dedicated to volleyball, and volleyball only. Whenever Kageyama would get pulled away for a confession, it’d urk Hinata. He wished they’d see Kageyama for what he is, a volleyball idiot, rather than some cool suave guy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite that, Kageyama always received love letters and confessions, which would gain congratulations from Tanaka and Nishinoya. Even though Kageyama showed no interest in them, he continued to receive them, and continued to turn them down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, somewhere along the lines, Kageyama changed. Sometimes, he’d stare off, with a wistful look in his eyes. He started to put himself out there more, and asked his upperclassmen about relationships and dating. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t take long for the second years to come to the conclusion that Kageyama liked someone. It also didn’t take long for the volleyball team to start following Kageyama around school. Hinata thought it was bullshit that Kageyama could like someone else, but still followed him around regardless. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The team quickly noticed that he was always talking to the same girl. She was really pretty, Kiyoko level pretty. She had short wavy hair, that looked very soft and shiny. She was short, about Hinata’s height, and her facial features were cute, not harsh, but very soft and feminine. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">The girl talked, and Kageyama just listened. He seemed relaxed, and attentive to her story. </span> <span class="s1">He wasn’t awkward, or stiff. It was like he learned to let loose. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tanaka was hasty to ask if any of the first years knew her, which none of them did. Hinata didn’t even realize a girl like that was in Kageyama’s class. He didn’t believe a girl like that was even interested in Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">However, that thought was soon smashed as the team tracked Kageyama to the back courtyards, and the girl in front of him, playing with her hands, and slightly shaking. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They heard the confession, and saw the way the girl looked at up his face with eyes of determination. Almost as if saying, “<em>I’ll be the one to change your mind</em>.” Hinata’s eyes widened. It was 3:21 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Although Kageyama didn’t say anything, they didn’t miss the way he brought his hand to the top of the girl’s head, reminiscent to Hinata of the way Kageyama did to him. Then, the way Kageyama brought both of his hands to cup the girl’s cheeks, and leaned down to kiss her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know Kageyama could be <em>that</em> gentle with another person. He didn’t know Kageyama was capable of whatever <em>that</em> was. Hinata started feeling hot, the heat spreading from his chest down to his feet and out through his fingers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Suga who tapped Hinata out of his bewilderment. It took him a minute to realize everyone was heading back to the gym. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata got up, an uncomfortable feeling pooling in his gut. He walked with the team, not wanting to look back at Kageyama. It was 3:24 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was 10 minutes late to practice. Kageyama was 10 minutes late to practice. If this was anyone else, Hinata could’ve made an excuse, but not for Kageyama. He didn’t want to think about the way Kageyama was probably with his girlfriend, and walking her to her own club. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He came in and apologized for being late. Ukai dismissed him and told him to go ahead and start practice. Hinata couldn’t take his eyes off Kageyama jogging towards him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was safe to say that Hinata fumbled his spikes. A lot. If he was able to hit one, he’d miss 12 more. This earned him multiple scoldings from Kageyama, and a few dumbasses in the mix. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But Hinata tuned all of it out. He could only focus on two things. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first thing was the way Kageyama’s hands moved throughout practice. He’d set the ball lightly, but serve with a great amount of force. He realized that Kageyama was always exact with the way he handled the ball, being careful, and only adding strength where it was needed. It was oddly mesmerizing to him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The second thing Hinata was focused on was the way Kageyama’s expressions formed. Right now, yelling Hinata’s ears off, he realized Kageyama was only ever angry whenever he couldn’t pull something off perfectly. To Hinata, Kageyama was too hard on himself. Then he thought to other expressions made by Kageyama. He couldn’t smile properly, but whenever he did, it made you want to keep it on there longer. Whenever he was concentrated, it made you want to keep your eyes on him. What was he thinking? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He remembered the way those hands grabbed onto his white shirt, and slammed him down on the gym floor. He remembered the way Kageyama’s face was when he was yelling at him that Hinata would throw off the balance of the team. Why was he remembering that fight now? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was when he looked up from his water bottle, to see Nishinoya and Tanaka exchange a sly look and swing their arm around Kageyama’s shoulders, did he realize what was coming next. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So, our little first year!” started Tanaka, “We all saw that little deal at the courtyards, I must say, I am a proud senpai of you, Kageyama!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He’s right! Remember if you ever need advice, you have your amazing senpais here to help!” Nishinoya said with a wide grin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Both Tanaka and Nishinoya proceeded to put him in a headlock to congratulate him. The third years laughed, with Asahi being the first one to say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m still a little surprised though, I didn’t know Kageyama thought about those things.” Asahi said with a thoughtful expression on his face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Actually now that you say it, why did you decide to date her? You never showed interest in girls before, Kageyama.” Suga added. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama was let go of chokehold from the two second years, and straightened himself out before he responded. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“Hmm, I’m not sure. My dreams, maybe?” </span> <span class="s1">He put out. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The gym was quiet. Before Kageyama looked around and said, “What?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Your what-“ Daichi started but was soon cut off by a loud Tanaka. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You have grown into a man! You are blossoming right before our eyes, Kageyama!” Shouted Tanaka with an odd amount of pride in his voice. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No seriously what-“ Daichi started again only to be interrupted by a yelling Nishinoya. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Our little first year! You are maturing!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up!” Daichi yelled at Tanaka and Nishinoya. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s nice Kageyama-kun, but what kind of dreams?” Suga put in. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not sure, but I’ve been having the same dream for the past few weeks. I’m with someone, holding their hand, whenever the dream ends, I kiss them. When I wake up, I could never remember who it was. I thought it was weird, but that’s why I accepted Suzume-san’s confession.” Said Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Suzume? Ahh, what a pretty name!” exclaimed Yamaguchi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s see how long she lasts with the king, I’m going off on a week.” Tsukishima said with a smirk. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama starting walking over to Tsukishima, when Suga went in between pleading a frantic, “Alright no fighting.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We are all happy for you and Suzume-san, Kageyama.” Suga followed up with saying. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Kageyama thanked Suga, the team turned when they heard a knock at the gym entrance. The person standing there was Suzume, who had a bright smile on her face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama excused himself as he went to leave with his girlfriend, Hinata was quick to follow him asking if they were going home together. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, you can walk yourself home, I’m going with Suzume.” Kageyama said to Hinata. Adding a, “Be safe dumbass, don’t fall down a hill.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata ignored the way his limbs started to feel numb, only being able to shout out an, “I’ll beat you tomorrow, Bakayama!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You wish.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The image of Kageyama holding hands with another girl stayed in his mind. Was he really being left behind? Is this what it felt like? It was 6:15 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata walked down the road to his house, his mind slowly becoming more and more plagued with thoughts about Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wondered why he felt angry with Kageyama. He did nothing wrong, and yet Hinata just wanted to yell and scream at Kageyama. He wondered why he chose that girl over him. Wasn’t walking home with Hinata more fun? He wanted to know why he felt what he felt at the courtyards, why did his heart skip? He had so many questions, and no answers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He snapped out of it whenever he realized his alarm clock read the numbers 9:46 pm. He turned to look at his ceiling, realizing he went through his entire routine as if by muscle memory. He lifted himself up to look out his window. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sky was a stark blue with glistening stars that seemed to stretch for horizons. The sight resembled a dark blue abyss. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes caught the sky, and stared endlessly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His head caught his worries, and thought mindlessly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wondered why Kageyama chose that girl over Hinata, he knew him longer than her. He wondered what was so good about Suzume that Hinata didn’t have. He came up with a million answers, each making his chest swell and his form shrink. He wondered what else happened in that dream that made Kageyama want a relationship, wasn’t their friendship enough? It was 12:13 am.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then his thoughts slipped into wondering what it was like to hold Kageyama’s hand. What would to feel like if Kageyama patted his head? If he cupped Hinata’s cheeks? What would kissing Kageyama feel like? What would it be like if he and Kageyama went out on dates? Couples do this and that, and <em>that</em>. <em>Right</em>? It was 3:27 am. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">He knew how a boy and a girl did it, and accidentally, he knew how two boys did it too. Hinata </span> <span class="s1">swallowed his pride, and assumed he’d take the “girl” position. Hinata wondered if it would feel good if it was Kageyama. He thought back to how tender Kageyama’s touch was in the courtyards, and imagined that version of Kageyama in his head. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama would have to prepare Hinata first, right? Kageyama who always took care of his hands, who had pretty hands, he imagined them separating and holding apart Hinata’s thighs softly, not forcefully. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The first finger feels uncomfortable, but it eased in eventually. Kageyama would spend time making sure that one was adjusted, careful not to rush or half ass anything. Kageyama would curse himself if it was anything less than perfect. The second finger made Hinata’s breath catch, and threatened tears to his eyes. Kageyama would talk him down quietly, telling Hinata to relax while gently kissing from his ear down his neck. The third finger made Hinata choke out a sob. Kageyama now kissing down his neck, moving over his collarbones. He’d work each finger, carefully opening him up, making Hinata moan and bury his head in the crook of Kageyama’s neck. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He imagined Kageyama easing into Hinata slowly, with one hand on Hinata’s hip bone, the other beside Hinata’s head. Once he was in all the way, he’d look at Hinata’s face with a gentle look adorning his features, bringing one hand to cup his cheek, while kissing his forehead. Quietly whispering an, “I love you” that made Hinata’s heart race. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then, it would all start going fast. Kageyama thrusting harshly and quickly. Hinata’s throat going dry as the pace picked up rapidly, his lithe arms wrapping around Kageyama’s back, scratching with every movement that Kageyama made. Kageyama hitting the right spot over and over and over again, making Hinata want to scream, but instead, he’d cry and moan needlessly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Whenever they were at climax, he’d bite down on Kageyama’s shoulder as Kageyama grunted, a low “fuck” slipping past his lips. Kageyama still moving in him, stretching out the rest of his orgasm, putting Hinata in a hazed state. Kageyama pulling out, and resting face first next to Hinata, allowing to Hinata run his fingers through his hair and kiss his temple. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s eyes opened, and he looked down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In less than a second, it felt like ice water was poured all over Hinata. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took Hinata 30 second to register what was in between his legs. It took Hinata another 30 seconds to recognize that he’d masturbated to Kageyama fucking him. It took him 4 minutes to clean himself and everything else up. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When Hinata came back, it took 5 seconds for that familiar sting to reach his eyes. It took 5 more seconds for Hinata to realize he was crying. It took 40 seconds for a dull pain to start blooming in his chest. It took 10 seconds for Hinata to collapse in his bed, covering himself with his blanket, suddenly feeling very feverish. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took 20 minutes for Hinata to cry his heart out. It took 10 minutes for him to calm down. It took 10 more minutes of Hinata staring at his hand, wondering what the hell he was thinking. His eyes burned and his mind starting to think. It was 4:09 am. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It felt like forever that Hinata was dancing around the same thing his mind was telling him, “you like Kageyama.” It took him 15 minutes for him to accept it. He wondered where everything changed, where along the lines did Hinata change, and not Kageyama? He turned to face his alarm clock, feeling his eyelids weigh down, and stillness seep into his bones. His last thought wondering what it would be like if Kageyama was next to him now. It was 4:44 am. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s eyes opened, his alarm clock being the first thing he made eye contact with. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He noticed the way the sunlight filtered through his window, bright and shining, and the way his chest felt heavier than normal. It was 2:21 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Oh. <em>Oh fuck. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata quickly got up, not caring that he missed the bulk of school, just wanting to be there in time for practice at least. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he could fully make his way out of bed though, his throat started to itch. His chest started to feel scratchy and full, only when Hinata started to wheeze and cough did he know something felt very wrong. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt something move its way up his throat, thinking it was vomit, he ran to the bathroom. However, Hinata didn’t make it there, stopping halfway realizing he felt something fall into the palm of his hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was one singular flower with some other petals clustered around it. They were colored the deepest of blues, only resembling the color of Kageyama’s eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata stood stagnant, looking at the petals, feeling tears dive down his face. It was a morning glory and hydrangea petals. His chest started to throb, his body warming up and nervousness filling his veins, a lightheadedness following the dizzying heat. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He fell to his knees, finally crying out. Hinata knew he fucked up for sure last night, but now made it crystal clear. Kageyama had a girlfriend, and Hinata loved Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t show up to school or practice that day, and decided not to show up the day after either. He looked at the clock. It was only 2:38 pm. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hinata couldn’t stop crying, he couldn’t stop coughing. The room was spinning everywhere he looked. His bedroom floor that was clean just minutes ago, was now scattered with blood. Many morning glories and hydrangeas dispersed in his sight. </p><p>It was like they were mocking him. </p><p>He wished he could go back to 4:44 am and stop himself from thinking.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi!! Thank you so much to everyone who left kudos, commented, and bookmarked, I’m so happy! I told myself I’d wait until writing and publishing chapter 2, but I couldn’t stop myself haha. I’ve been procrastinating like crazy, and I’m going to have a workload for the next 3-5 days, so please wait for chapter 3. </p><p>This chapter is definitely longer than the first chapter, I started writing and my fingers couldn’t stop. While writing, I was listening to a bunch of sad vibe songs, so I recommend “Get You to the Moon” by Kina and “Sunset Lover” slowed by Petit Biscuit to listen to while you read. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations! Any comments or kudos would be greatly appreciated! Share the story if you think anyone you know would like it! I think that’s it for my notes, I’ll leave you guys to it :) </p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next two days were a blur for Hinata. It was a slew of imagery, the sky, the coughing, the petals, the crying. His mother walking into his room, the only sight of her son was him grabbing at his throat, face dry with tearstreaks. She knew she couldn’t do anything to ease the pain, she could only hold Hinata and tell him that it’d get better. She came home at 7:32 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">Hinata barely ate either. He lost his appetite slowly, little by little. He could feel it withering away as the roots that were growing in him took away any amount of nutrients he got. He didn’t know it got this bad in only two days. Wait, was it two days or was it 2 weeks? </span> <span class="s1">He looked over to his alarm clock at the date. </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">4 days. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was 4 days since he first coughed up petals. He wanted to laugh. Only four days passed, and it felt like time was speeding past him, yet also going so leisurely. Time was becoming an obscurity.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata knew how much time he had. He knew, and he smiled. He wouldn’t let this get in the way of anything. He smiled bigger, allowing his heart to hammer, not out of joy, but out of pure fear. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was scared. He was terrified of dying. He didn’t want to go out feeling pain like this, but even if it was only 5 weeks or 3 months he had left to live, he wanted to spend every moment allowing himself to feel love. Every aspect of love he could get, no matter how much it hurt him. Even if everyday felt harder to breathe, he’d welcome it with open arms. That’s who Hinata was. He hadn’t lost yet. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wasn’t gone yet.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew once he went back to school, his days, his memories would all become one big haze. He told himself he was okay with that. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He fell asleep, agreeing that nothing in his life was out of the ordinary. It was 11:12 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He woke up to the blaring sound of his alarm clock, shooting his hand in every direction near the clock to shut it off. He pushed himself up. Even though his body felt so sluggish and languid, he practiced a smile, and made his way to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He made eye contact with his mother, greeting her good morning, and taking a seat at the table. His mother made him tamago kake gohan. She knew it was his favorite, and handed it to Hinata with glassy eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mother prepared him his favorite breakfast dishes. Hinata dug in and began eating. Even though he didn’t feel particularly hungry, nor could he get particularly full, he ate and ate and ate. He filled his mouth with food to distract himself from thinking of looking at his mother that sat on other side of the table.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He spared a glance at his mother and sister anyways. She was looking onto him, a mother’s sadness filling every part of her eyes, while Natsu was looking at their mother with a confused expression of her own. She started to shed tears.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata stared at his mom. He felt himself walking as he got up and moved to her side of the table. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t know what else to do, so he just hugged his mother. He hugged her firmly, reassuring her that he’d be fine.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Just let me feel this a little while longer Mom, I promise I’ll be okay.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She seemed to calm down, but only for a moment before whispering, “You don’t know that, Shouyou.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata bit his lip, his eyes becoming watery. She was right. He didn’t know that it’d be okay. He didn’t know how quickly it’d progress or how long the disease would drag itself out. He allowed himself to cry in that moment. Even though he told himself he wouldn’t let it affect him, it did. He wanted to say it’d be the only time he’d cry today. It wasn’t.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata could feel the abruptness of the petals climbing up and out his mouth. He back-stepped from his mother and Natsu, hand holding the lower part of his face. He ran to the bathroom, for what felt like the 50th time in 5 days, and coughed petals all over the sink. Hinata brought his head to rest on the counter, cursing himself for not being able to hold it in. He felt his mother’s hand circle his back, and Natsu holding onto his leg. Their touches made his heart crack a bit more.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata felt pathetic. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He waved his mother and sister goodbye, a big smile stretching across his features, ignoring the way their faces were marked with worry. It was 7:12 am. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata ran, relishing in the way the wind blew past his hair, the coolness all moving behind him. He stopped to look at the rising sun. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every emotion that he felt in the last 5 days made its way to his voice, and he screamed. He ran and ran and ran, his voice losing itself with every step. He ran faster up the stairs, dropping to his feet once he faced the clubroom. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked up, out of breath, only to be met with Kageyama’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata felt his throat catch something. He swallowed. It came back up. He forced it down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata smiled a painful smile, “I beat you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If there was something different about Hinata, Kageyama didn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why were you gone for four days? Four days dumbass. You know how much we could’ve practiced in that time?” rushed out Kageyama.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I had a really bad fever. I thought I was going to blow up, Bakayama!” Hinata said, making sure to imitate the way he sounded when he was annoyed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What? I thought idiots didn’t catch colds, did you use your brain or something?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata gasped, “You’re the last person who can say those types of things to me!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Actually I can, I texted you over 30 times.” Kageyama retorted while hitting Hinata’s head. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh?” Hinata pulled out his phone, and sure enough 36 messages from Kageyama. Along with 19 missed calls, 7 from Kageyama, 3 from Daichi, 4 from Suga, and one each from Nishinoya, Tanaka, Ennoshita, Yamaguchi, and Asahi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” was the only thing he could let out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t think to check his phone at all. He spent most of the last few days crying, throwing up petals, or sleeping. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. Oh, dumbass.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well I was too sick and stuck in bed, the last thing I was worrying about was checking my phone!” Hinata stuck out his tongue and waved away Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well maybe if-“ Kageyama started, but soon stopped as he heard clashing footsteps up the stairs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was the third years. Suga came rushing over asking if Hinata was okay and why didn’t he pick up the phone. Hinata got ready, he practiced his excuse over and over again, and it seemed to work with Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I just got super duper sick!” Hinata said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He heard all the questions, and his mind set on autopilot. He could feel himself answering all the questions, he could feel himself changing, hitting the ball, running laps, drinking water, and then finally changing again. He was in the middle of putting on his uniform, that he realized he couldn’t remember anything that happened in the last hour. He stopped and looked at the clock. It was 8:40 am. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata needed to cough again. He quickly made his way to the gym, it had the closest restroom after all. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stopped. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was met with a sight of Suzume and Kageyama kissing near the entrance of the gym. They both had their eyes closed, Kageyama’s back being the only thing he could see. He saw Suzume’s hand entangled in Kageyama’s hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was quick to hide behind the blue structure that lined the hallway from the gym to the school. He sat there for what felt like forever until they stopped. He heard the footsteps walking away. It was really only 10 seconds, but he felt the heaviness flood his body. He couldn’t breathe. He checked that they were gone, and rushed into the gym restroom throwing a coughing fit, filling the toilet with petals and flowers. His throat felt so hoarse and dry, his hand flew to his bag, searching for a water bottle. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hinata?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He froze. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hinata? We can see you right there, you can turn around.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata stayed still. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, you simpleton idiot, we see you. We’re right behind you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you okay?” He felt a body stoop down, rubbing Hinata’s back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took Hinata a minute to take in that it was three people. If it was one, Hinata could’ve easily been able to explain himself. His luck seemed to really like putting him in shitty situations recently.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Yamaguchi, Tsukishima, and Ennoshita. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Great. Hinata wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t make any noise. He looked between the three of them, and thought about the question, “Are you okay?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-“ Hinata started, but stopped whenever he realized his throat felt like sandpaper. Yamaguchi handed him a water bottle. He felt like a child drinking that water bottle, breathing heavily, as if he wouldn’t be able to drink again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Slow down, Hinata!” Yamaguchi said, obviously panicking. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He thought back to Kageyama kissing that girl. Her hands holding a side of Kageyama’s face, and feeling through his hair. The way Kageyama’s arms wrapped around her waist, hugging her curves. It was blatantly obvious that Hinata wasn’t as shapely as her. Hinata was slim and slightly muscular. Suzume was full figured, but thin and athletic. His body paled in comparison to hers. He looked down at his body, and felt a sheer amount of hatred. He thought to Suzume’s soft voice, how mellifluous it was. His own voice was loud, and boyish in comparison. He thought of all the ways Suzume compared to him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata felt incompetent. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Girls was what Kageyama liked, and girls was what Hinata would never be. He didn’t want to change, but he just wanted to be wanted by Kageyama. Hinata would never amount to a girl. No matter what he’d do, a woman would always be better to Kageyama.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He didn’t feel okay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked back up at Ennoshita, then Tsukishima, and finally Yamaguchi.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... I di-didn’t ask for this.” Hinata choked out, his voice starting to break. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima’s face morphed into one of heartfelt pain. Hinata had only seen it one other time. Yamaguchi motioned for Ennoshita to pull Hinata out of the stall.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-I’m never gonna be good enough for him, am I?” Hinata brought his hands to his face, catching his tears. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ennoshita didn’t say anything, only bringing Hinata into a hug. A much needed hug in that moment. Hinata felt two both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima’s hands rub his back, mirroring each other’s movement. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Being surrounded by warmth felt so radiant to him in that moment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ennoshita pulled Hinata away from him whenever he heard the boy finally catch his breath. Hinata looked over to his side at Yamaguchi and Tsukishima. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’ll get worse before it gets better.” Tsukishima said profoundly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”Tsukki!” Yamaguchi uttered out in a “Did you really just say that?” tone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata glared at Tsukishima. He wanted to punch him. Obviously, no one wants to hear that it gets worse, Hinata especially, but he knows it’s true. It wasn’t the most comforting thing in the moment, but it was right. Hinata hated it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked at the three of them, whose eyes held pity. Hinata figured he must’ve been looking rough if they were making that obvious of expressions. Hinata cleaned his face up, and walked out of the gym, not saying another word. The three of them following behind Hinata.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We won’t tell anyone, but you should situate that as quickly as possible. How long has it been going on?” Ennoshita said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Five days. I already decided what to do though. I want to keep it around as long as possible, and then I’ll die.” Hinata spoke as if it was casual to mention his death. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait, what?” Yamaguchi said confused.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” Tsukishima added. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think I’ll love anyone else but Kageyama. Even if I do get surgery, I’d rather die loving Kageyama than not being able to love at all.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Ennoshita looked at Hinata, concern filling his face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If that’s what you feel is best.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It probably isn’t the best, but it’s okay.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">“That’s stupidly emotional.” Tsukishima said adjusting his glasses. Yamaguchi slapped his arm. </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata turned back, giving them an unfeigned smile, his eyes crinkling along with the expression. The three boys wanted to hug Hinata, allowing him to vent, even if just for a few more minutes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were all late to class. It was 9:03 am.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As Hinata thought, the days started to merge together. 3 more days became a week, and a week became two. It was a routine now. Wake up and ignore the way his heart felt dull and aching, begging for any amount of attention. Go to practice, do school stuff, more practice, eat, then sleep. In between all of those moments, it was cough a bunch of petals in the toilet whenever he got the chance, otherwise, he swallowed it down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He started to feel the days creeping up to him. He started feeling his body become weaker and weaker. He wanted strength, even for one stupid moment, he wanted to feel happy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And one stupid moment of happiness, was what Hinata got. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was settling into bed, and he was back to staring at his ceiling. At this point, there were only petals and few full flowers. The stage of the disease seemed static. Hinata stuffed his face into his pillow, a wide grin showing itself. He had more time. It was 9:19 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He had been texting Kageyama after practice, talking about their new quick. Although Kageyama didn’t respond after 3 hours of continuous texting, it was okay with Hinata. Three hours was time he cherished. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata laid there in bed, content with his life. Satisfied with himself, despite the situation he was in. He looked out his window, gazing at the sky. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The stars twinkled a little brighter that night. The navy background making them stand out even more. Hinata thought it was beautiful. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt his phone buzz. He learned to do put it on buzz after all the messages left from when he was “sick”. He picked up the phone to view the screen. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a text from Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata questioned why he’d respond now of all times, but dismissed it, opening the text anyways. There, after Hinata texted that they should practice extra tomorrow to make the quick perfect, was an indescribable message from Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked at it for a good 30 seconds. Huh? His heart started to race, his eyes started welling up again. He did a double take again, not really trusting his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But no, the text was really there. It was there, staring him in the face. It set in. He jumped up from his bed, springing up and down holding his phone. He threw his phone on the bed, covering his mouth to avoid screaming. He paraded around his room, feeling giddiness and relief take over his body. It felt like the room was spinning. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He crashed onto the floor, not caring how much it hurt, only tears of pure happiness streaming out his eyes. He felt his chest burst, like for a few seconds, nothing was weighing it down. It was that same feeling he got whenever he won a game, it was pure adrenaline. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata panted, happiness making him eager. He rolled over on his floor, going to pick his phone back up to respond. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Happiness never did last long. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And his blood ran cold. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry Hinata, I meant to text that to my girlfriend.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata stared at the two messages. Each one vastly different in the way they made Hinata feel. He chuckled. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every feeling came onto him all at once. Humiliation. Stupidity. Foolishness. He felt an increasing pressure in his chest as he fell on his back. It felt like he was being suffocated. He turned over, heaving, trying to make it stop. He coughed full flowers, a substance covering every part of them. His eyes shot open, they were tainted with his blood. He looked at them, the vibrant blues tinged with an intense red. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was all too fast. Hinata screamed. His mother burst into the room, examining the scene in front of her. She shot glances everywhere in the room, trying to take in the current event. She rushed to Shouyou, carefully grabbing him, begging him to slow down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shouyou! Shouyou, please breathe!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“M-mom? Please make it stop. Please, please make it stop!” His voice was tiny, cracks evident throughout, before reaching a full blown shout as he gripped his shirt. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata couldn’t stop crying, he couldn’t stop coughing. The room was spinning everywhere he looked. His head felt heavy and light at the same time. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His bedroom floor that was clean just minutes ago, was now scattered with blood and flowers. Many morning glories and hydrangeas dispersed in his sight. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like they were mocking him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wished he could go back to 4:44 am and stop himself from thinking. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was hyperventilating.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was suffocating. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s chest burned like hell. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was all unbearable.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like everything he was feeling in that moment was becoming faster and faster, and then it came to a screeching halt. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s vision became vague, as his body started slowing down. He felt his breathing cease to a shallow rhythm. He felt his mother helping him to bed, covering him in blankets. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She kissed his forehead, that one gesture bringing more tears to Hinata’s eyes. He felt the depth of fatigue hit his body. He looked over to his mother, who had sorrow painted on her face. Hinata never wanted to be the cause of his mother’s sadness. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata wanted to be sure. He wanted to be told that whatever he was holding onto was worth it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mom, am I making the right decision?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He peeked at his mother’s expression. She looked taken a back. It was for good reason too, Hinata never doubted anything he ever did. To see her own son, who was always sure of his decisions, ask something like that. It made her lose a part of her faith. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Only you can decide that for yourself. I will always be here if you decide to get rid of it.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In truth, she wanted so badly to force her son to go and get surgery. She wanted to yell at her son for choosing to carry on in his condition. She wanted to put an end to her Shouyou’s suffering. She wanted Shouyou to forget. She wanted to curse the gods. Why did it have to be Hinata? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not ready to lose this feeling yet.” Hinata said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mother only held his hand. She knew love was like this. It made you do rash things, and choose before thinking. It made you jump headfirst into whatever you felt like. Love did that, but she didn’t know it was to this extent. She knew it hurt, but she didn’t think it’d be this unfair. It scared her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s okay, Shou-chan. Just remember to keep smiling. Keep enjoying every little moment.” </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">It was quiet for a few moments before she </span> <span class="s1">heard soft snoring. Hinata was already asleep. She chuckled and her eyes became misty. Hinata’s mother cried softly. It was 9:53 pm. </span></p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next day, Hinata showed up to school with the biggest smile he could put on. He was getting tired. It was starting to hurt more than ever. He hated seeing Kageyama hold hands with someone else, kiss someone else, hug someome else. His feelings for Kageyama were becoming a burden. Even though it was killing him, he couldn’t let go. <br/></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was only two and a half weeks in, and Hinata’s lungs were being strangled. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">2 more weeks passed, and it was relatively uneventful. He noticed Ennoshita, Yamaguchi, and Tsukishima always sending hurried glances at him and at each other, as if making sure Hinata was still standing. As if making sure Hinata was still breathing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">To Hinata though, he felt everything. He could feel the flowers blooming, the roots crowding, the petals falling. He could feel everytime they grew, each new blossom causing more and more asphyxiation to him. His team must’ve noticed because it was Suga to bring something up about it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hinata, you don’t have asthma or anything right?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, no? Why Suga-san?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You seem to be having a harder time breathing these days.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, are you sure? I feel fine.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Maybe I was imagining it haha.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata laughed and smiled back at Suga, even though he could tell Suga was forcing himself to smile. He didn’t miss how Ennoshita looked away, or how Kageyama side eyed him. Tanaka and Nishinoya looking at Hinata with subtle surprise, or Daichi and Asahi looking at him with concern. He saw how Tsukishima and Yamaguchi gave each other a troubled glance. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He got a bad feeling in his gut. Afternoon practice was only barely starting. It was 3:28 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Practice went relatively well though, and Hinata was afraid. The deep feeling in his gut not moving, only staying stationary. Hinata’s mind was clear. He took out any worries or frustrations he had on the ball. It was all quick. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The end of practice came in the blink of an eye. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tanaka and Nishinoya were the ones interrogating Kageyama on any new updates in his relationship. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Have you two done it?” Nishinoya asked, curiosity flashing through his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama choked on his water, blushing a bright red. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata chuckled. So Kageyama could look like that. He thought it was adorable, looking at Kageyama become hot and flustered. That initial feeling of amusement though, was slowly replaced with envy. He thought back to the first time he thought about Kageyama in that light. So he did that with her? Hinata should’ve known, it was normal among couples after all. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well-“ Kageyama started but never finished. Suzume was at the entrance way with an embarrassed look on her face. She pulled Kageyama out, not giving him much time to excuse himself. The others made kissy faces and wolf whistles, while Hinata stood there. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The team made their way to the clubroom, many of them leaving and going their separate ways. Hinata was the last one left, having the duty of locking up after he was done. It was 6:17 pm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat near the back of the clubroom, staring at the floor. He thought of Hinata having sex with a girl. The thought of Kageyama pleasuring someone else that wasn’t Hinata raised goosebumps on his skin. He thought of Kageyama kissing down Suzume’s skin, and he felt sick. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted it to be him. It was 6:38 pm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His thoughts altered to what would happen if Kageyama found out he fantasized about him. He thought of Kageyama calling him disgusting. He thought of Kageyama not talking to him anymore, of Kageyama slamming Hinata on the floor again. His head started to feel woozy. It was 6:52 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His chest felt millions of blooming sensations at once, Hinata could pinpoint them as flowers being formed. He knew what was coming. He couldn’t get air again. He spotted a black sweatshirt on the shelf, he grabbed it and placed it on the floor. He owed his life to whoever owned the sweatshirt. His throat started to feel crowded. He felt the liquid blood rush out along with fully formed flowers. Bunches at a time, they were coming out, and showed no stop. Hinata cried. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It seemed like the only thing he could do. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once he was done, he tried his best to remove the blood and spit that was running down his lips. He stood back, and looked at the sweatshirt filled with dark blue flowers, almost as dark as the sweatshirt itself. He could only look at them with resentment and aversion. He felt his heart throb.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He saw a name tag on the back of the hood part. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“#9 Kageyama Tobio” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata laughed at the irony. “I owe my life to whoever owned this sweatshirt.” He felt more tears pool in his eyes, his vision becoming more distorted. It was 7:04 pm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door clicked open, and Hinata knew no matter what happened, he wasn’t getting out of this one. He could only pray that whoever was up in the sky controlling luck or fortune was on his side. It could be anyone, absolutely anyone, but Kageyama. Two figures stood in the doorway, not moving in, and not backing out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“H-Hinata?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked over to Suga standing there, shock visible on his features. Daichi standing in tow, with the same astonishment marking his features. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga staggered, his mouth suddenly feeling parched. The sight of Hinata sitting on the floor, tears overflowing from his eyes, and a sweatshirt filled with an array of deep blues and bold reds, made Suga want to hold him. So he approached Hinata, hands engulfing the sides of Hinata’s face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why didn’t you tell us?” Suga said with a hurt tone, not because he was hurt that Hinata didn’t tell him, but because he thought Hinata suffered through everything alone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In a way, he was going through it all alone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata took one look at the captain and vice captain. The words becoming stuck in his throat, more tears escaping his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-I was scared.” Hinata wished he could’ve put more detail. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I s-still am.” Hinata coughed out, and Suga understood more than enough. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door closed shut, and he felt Suga pulling him into an embrace, while glancing to see Daichi move to throw the flowers into the trashbin. He felt Daichi sit next to Hinata and Sugawara, only patting Hinata’s head, moving down to circle his back. It felt like his mother’s touch, only firmer, the hands feeling rougher and more calloused. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay Hinata, go ahead. Cry as much as you need to.” Suga’s words made Hinata’s body go slack. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s face fell into Sugawara’s chest, and he yelled out. He cried, and he grabbed at Suga’s sleeves. Hinata was so tired. Hinata wanted to sleep. He just wanted it to stop. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to be loved by Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted it to stop.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to be accepted by Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wished for it to stop. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to be held by Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He needed his thoughts to stop. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wanted to lay next to Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He needed everything to stop. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s ears rang at a deafening volume, and he didn’t realize how much nor how loud he was crying out until the ringing faded out. He heard himself sob and choke and sob some more. He felt weak. He felt numb. Hinata couldn’t stop crying. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Suga-san, please t-tell me how to live without Kageyama! Please tell me how to stop feeling this! It hurts, everything hu-hurts!” He shouted out, lowering his head, hands desperately clinging onto Suga’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m so t-tired, I... I can’t live like th-this anymore!” He sobbed even harder than he did before. His body hunched over even more, his eyes looking at ground, forcing him to see the tears drop from his face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t stand seeing him anymore. I love him, and he’s killing me!” Hinata shouted out with every bit of vexation in his body. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shhhh, shhh.” Suga shushed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hinata, breathe.” Daichi said in a tone that made Hinata calm his heavy panting. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t realize how much he was shaking, or how hard he was breathing until then. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tell us from the start.” Suga said in a hushed voice, rubbing his palm over Hinata’s back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata pulled his head up from Sugawara’s chest to look at him and Daichi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sugawara’s expression was that of his mothers. It made Hinata want to apologize. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi looked at Hinata, his eyes conveying the words, “You’ve come so far.” It made Hinata want to cry more. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“O-okay, it’ll take a while though.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga warmly smiled, “All the time you need.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata separated himself from Sugawara’s embrace, but holding onto his hands. He began talking and talking and talking. He was releasing every detail. He saw every memory come back to his mind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Every thought. Every experience. Every worry. Every frustration. Every feeling. His bitterness, his sadness, his tiredness, his anguish.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was at four and a half weeks, and he could barely breathe.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Hinata was at four and a half weeks, and he knew he would die. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata only had a few days left to change everything, and he had chosen not to. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata only had a few days left, and love had chosen to reward him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love laughed back in the midst of Hinata’s breakdown, as it made sure that none of the boys heard the steps that made their way up the stairs and to the clubroom.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love laughed when it made sure that neither Hinata, Suga, nor Daichi heard the footsteps that eventually stood still outside the door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love laughed when the 3 boys didn’t hear someone press their ear to the thin door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It laughed when the boys didn’t notice that another person was on the other side of the wall, listening intently. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It laughed because, even though the person couldn’t see anything from the outside, they could imagine the blood, the flowers, and the faces. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Love laughed because it was Kageyama who was on the other side of that door, listening to Hinata pouring his heart out, eyes wide, and mouth dry. It was only 7:47 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>He stopped, a sudden wave of tiredness taking over his body. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, and he felt his muscles relax, he felt his head rest on the pillow. He didn’t know what the flowers meant, but it made his brain go haywire thinking about it.</p><p>His eyelids finally closed, his heart being soothed into a lull. It was 4:44 am.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to everyone who has been reading, commenting, bookmarking, and giving kudos! It seriously keeps me motivated to keep writing. I hope to release the next chapter on Sunday, but if not, it will come out next week. I have no song recommendations, but if you, make sure to comment them so I can listen :)</p><p>I’ll stop now, enjoy the chapter!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama was acting different, and Hinata didn’t know why. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like Kageyama was walking on eggshells around Hinata. He hesitated before he said anything to Hinata. Every time he was going in to pat Hinata’s shoulder after a good practice, he’d pull his hand back a bit before touching him. He’d always ask Hinata if they could go home together, and even then, Kageyama would barely say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He knew Hinata was a naturally careful person, but this was being too careful.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was making Hinata’s chest feel like fire. Hell, he was halfway through death’s door, and he was surprised he wasn’t pulled in yet. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t like the change of behavior. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t like that time was lingering. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata decided to confront Kageyama about it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s up with you?” He asked Kageyama as they left the Sakanoshita store, meatbuns in hand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a cool night, one where the wind would rustle every so often, bringing a nice coldness to Hinata’s body.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Practice had ended later than normal, and Hinata decided to treat both of them to meatbuns. He would never do this on any normal day, but Hinata was going to die in a few days. He decided he might as well make the best of it, just a little memory of it while he could. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing, why?” Kageyama said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ve been acting weird.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They kept walking. Kageyama was avoiding Hinata’s eyes, looking down on his meat bun. Hinata kept his eyes on his feet, counting the number of steps he took. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 12, 18, 21, 34. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama strayed from Hinata.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sat down under a streetlight. A black cat leaped out of no where, and into Kageyama’s lap. Hinata was surprised the cat didn’t jump out just to scratch him, Kageyama was never the best with animals after all. He remembered the last time Kageyama tried to pick up a cat, he ended up with 5 different scratches on his face. Hinata chuckled and took his spot next to Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was quiet for a few moments when he heard Kageyama mumble something.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”I... oke... th... ume.” He mumbled.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hmm?” Hinata asked leaning into Kageyama with a hand cuffing his ear. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I broke up with Suzume.” Kageyama said, voice clearer, and keeping his eyes on the cat that was laid his lap. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“O-Oh.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata leaned away from Kageyama, the concrete suddenly looking very interesting to him. It was quiet, and they could hear the calls of cicadas around them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Now that Hinata thought about it, he hadn’t seen Suzume around Kageyama much anymore. He hasn’t for the past few days. Hinata felt a shot of excitement in his heart. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It disgusted him. He was happy that Kageyama broke up with his girlfriend, when Kageyama was bound to be heartbroken about it. He caught a glimpse of Kageyama. His eyes were filled with something Hinata couldn’t quite figure out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was something close to regret, but not fully. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was something close to worry, but not really. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” Hinata asked, trying to keep his voice neutral. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama was silent again. Hinata looked at him, and then the sky. Between the stars and the faint clouds, the sky looked so gentle. It seemed so kind, and giving. Hinata’s eyes were stuck to it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama turned to glance at Hinata who was looking at the sky. He was completely unaware that Kageyama was memorizing the way Hinata looked in that moment. His wild orange hair, his pale smooth skin, his wrinkleduniform, his delicate smile. The way Hinata was just staying still, like for the first time in a long time, he reached serenity. He was so dazzling. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama could only look at him in awe. He didn’t mean for his words to slip out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing with her felt right.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked over to Kageyama, slowly as he registered what he just said. It was only surprise. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What didn’t feel right with Suzume? The numerous amounts of kissing? Because Kageyama did that over and over again. The hugging? They did it all the time, at lunch, before practice, after practice. The hand holding? During the time they dated, it was like their hands were glued together, none of them let go. Was it the sex? Hinata didn’t know how many times Kageyama had done it, but he was sure that not all first times are great. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I- uh... What do you mean?” Hinata wanted to slap himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you think it means dumbass? It means nothing I did with her made me feel any way.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Huh?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama clicked his tongue. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean that-“ Kageyama stopped, as if to gather his words. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“-like Suzume didn’t really make me feel in love. I guess... um, I... maybe I thought that maybe love was just something that happened overtime. But no matter how many times I did anything with her, it just... I didn’t feel right.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Because it’s supposed to be me that you do those things with, fucking idiot.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Is what Hinata wanted to say. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well then, what did you want to feel like?” Hinata asked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want them to make me feel like I don’t have to be perfect around them. I guess... I guess I want to be accepted by someone for who I am, not what they think I am.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t know what to say. He was dumbstruck, staring at the pavement like a fool. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There is someone, I promise.” Was all he could say in the moment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked over to see the cat flipped on its back and Kageyama holding its paws. The soft streetlight made Kageyama look distant, like he was intangible. He was so utterly beautiful. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata pulled his legs to his chest, crossing his hands and placing his head on top of them, continuing to gaze at Kageyama. His chest constricted, the flowers felt like they were starting to overflow. He was getting exhilarated. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I know someone who’s like that. I’m not sure how I didn’t notice it before, but I do now.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Y-you should just tell them then, what’s the worse that could happen? Y’know?” Hinata started to feel feverish. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want it to be perfect.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What if they’re already gone by the time you get it perfect?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama stilled, “What do you mean gone?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata realized what he said and felt more heat rush to his face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-I mean like what if th-they’re already dating someone! You know that wouldn’t be great, right?” He said with a laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh I mean, I- uh, I don’t think they will, I’m positive that they like me already.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unbeknownst to Hinata, Kageyama already knew everything, but it made him rethink everything. Hinata was right, he didn’t know if it’d be too late. It was 4 days since that day right? I have time, is what Kageyama thought confidently. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I feel like it’s really killing them that I won’t confess.” Kageyama added. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I hope I can save them.” The subtlety of his determination made Hinata’s heart skip a beat. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“O-oh.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In Hinata’s body, his bones felt cold. Kageyama didn’t know he was dying right? Did he see the flowers? No. No way he did. He didn’t know Hinata liked him right? He didn’t even know if Kageyama was talking about him or not, and it was scaring him. Oh my gosh, if Kageyama knew, did he know that Hinata thought about having sex with him? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata mentally laughed. It was nice knowing his mother, his sister, and the team, but now he was planning to go dig his own grave and bury himself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama suddenly stood up, pulling Hinata out of his panic. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s go, its late.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Ah, Mhm.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walked together in a comfortable silence. Hinata was opening the door when he realized Kageyama didn’t call him dumbass. It was 8:08 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata woke up that night, coughing flowers like there was no tomorrow. 5, then 17, then 36, then 53. Hinata lost count after 60. Hinata was confused, a pressure growing in his head as he kept it down, coughing and coughing and coughing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> Didn’t Kageyama like him? What was going on? Why wasn’t it going away? Does Hinata have to be the one to tell him? No, Kageyama said he was making it perfect, he had to wait. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What if it wasn’t Hinata? The reason why Hinata was so afraid was because of rejection. It’s natural to be scared of rejection, everyone is, but Hinata didn’t have to be. He had nothing to lose anymore, he’d die regardless, right? What if Hinata didn’t confess in time, what would happen then? What if Kageyama accepted, but it was too late? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But what if Kageyama wasn’t too late? What if he confessed in time? Would Hinata cry? Would he hit Kageyama? Maybe not, but Hinata would definitely call Kageyama an idiot.Making Hinata wait that long, who does he think he is? He thought of how he’d get to hold Kageyama’s hand everywhere, and he’d get to kiss him anytime. He’d get to kiss him after games, at home, just out of the blue randomly. Hinata giggled softly, although it was dark, he could feel the blush spread across his cheeks. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata started playing with his fingers, smiling dumbly. From his fingers, his vision focused over to the trash bin behind his hands that was full of flowers filling to the brim. Orange ambrosias and acacias.Hinata laughed and then flipped over to his side. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He shot right back up. He swore he threw up morning glories and hydrangeas. He was positive he did. He dug through the trashcan, and sure enough, those bloody blue flowers lined the bottom. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Why did the flowers change though? Did Hinata do something wrong? Were these a signal that he’d die sometime this week? Flowers take a while to bloom right? They couldn’t of just grown overnight, right? Were they supposed to be telling him something?</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How the-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stopped, a sudden wave of tiredness taking over his body. He couldn’t keep his eyes open, and he felt his muscles relax, he felt his head rest on the pillow. He didn’t know what the flowers meant, but it made his brain go haywire thinking about it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyelids finally closed, his heart being soothed into a lull. It was 4:44 am. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was lunchtime. It was lunchtime, on a sunny day, where the weather wasn’t too hot, nor was it too cold. It was perfect. Kageyama asked Hinata to have lunch with him on the rooftop, and he was excited. Hinata thought today was the day. He was springing from foot to foot, making his way to the restroom for a round of throwing up flowers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He gracefully hacked his lungs out and was about to be done, but something about the flowers were different. They changed again. Hinata was getting irritated. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I gonna die or what? C’mon gods.” He thought as a looked at the flowers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata took a closer look. They were snapdragons. They were colored as richly as Hinata’s orange hair. He felt scared. He cleaned up and walked out of the restroom, unable to push away the feeling of his gut starting to sink. As if telling him he shouldn’t go to the rooftop, but he did anyways.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He should’ve just walked right back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Instead he kept walking through the hall, up the stairs, until he was finally face to face with the door. It was open, but not fully, just enough where you could make out what was out there. Hinata saw two people. The first person was Kageyama. The second person was a girl. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata stood behind the door, watching carefully. It looked like Kageyama was telling her something. Hinata tried to get closer, but he couldn’t without moving the door. Hinata couldn’t hear anything, so he just kept looking. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama seemed panicked, like something wasn’t going right. He looked around like he was watching for something, or someone. The girl was talking whenever Kageyama stepped back from her, putting his hands out in a way that almost seemed like it said don’t come closer. The girl grabbed Kageyama’s hands. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It happened so fast Hinata didn’t have time to process it until he was running down the stairs, feet going so fast, he felt like he was going to topple over the steps and fall at any minute. He felt the tears falling out of his eyes. On that last step, his foot tripped, sending Hinata falling into someone when they were pulled away. Hinata fell, slamming himself into the wall and floor.He turned his head to look up at two people, the larger person holding the smaller person’s shoulders. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It took some time to realize that it was Yachi and Kiyoko he was looking at. He sighed, one filled with exasperation. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kiyoko looked down on Hinata, like she knew something. Like she knew something he didn’t, and she helped Hinata up, taking one of his wrists, and dragging him into the empty art room, Yachi right behind them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door slid open and Hinata took in the scene. It was a desolate classroom, surrounded by some unfinished and finished pieces. The bright sun flooded into the room, lighting up the extent of the classroom, curtains hung loosely, pinned to the wall by carts of art supplies. It was like life was in this room, but it also wasn’t. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She sat him on a stool beside the windows. He could smell freshly mixed paints, thinners, and stretched canvas. He looked out the window, to the rooftop. He couldn’t see Kageyama or that girl. He thought back to what he saw, his chest starting to pulse. Kiyoko placed a bucket of water in front of Hinata. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whenever you’re ready.” Kiyoko said, taking a seat near him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yachi looked between Hinata and Kiyoko, wondering what Kiyoko was talking about. She motioned for Yachi to sit down next to her. It was 12:08 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked at the water. He stared at it and saw Kageyama kissing that girl on the rooftop. More like her pulling Kageyama into a kiss, but it was a kiss nonetheless. He didn’t want to think about it. He just wished he left it at, “The girl grabbed Kageyama’s hands.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He saw his tears drip into the somewhat murky water, the water being mixed with old paint that stained the insides of the bucket. He felt the flowers being plucked from their roots and stems, the softness of petals rising from his chest. He coughed into the water. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blood plummeted into the transparent blue, while the flowers stood afloat on the water. He kept going. The sight of what was coming out of his body was dizzying. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt light. He felt weak in his body. Hinata couldn’t cry anymore, even if he tried. His mind decided it was a good time to think. He thought of that girl leading Kageyama into an emptier part of school. He thought of them making out, and what would’ve happened if Hinata had waited there. He thought of Kageyama’s hands holding that girl’s waist, her hair, her back. The girl having a hand on Kageyama’s chest, his shoulder, his face. He thought of that happening while Hinata would just stay at their spot, bento in his hands, staring at the door, waiting for nothing. Waiting for someone that would never come. It was cruel. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt his heart squeeze, that feeling of warm sadness emanating in his body. It made him feel tiny. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He suddenly couldn’t cough anymore, and it was like everything stopped.He didn’t need to anymore. He pushed the bucket away, catching a faint look at whatever was at the top of the water. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Primroses. Against the translucent red of the water, the midnight tones of the primroses stood like how no other. The sunlight that was pouring in from the window fell onto the bucket, illuminating part of they primroses. The color was that of dark azurite. Kageyama’s eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata couldn’t live without him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did you know?” Hinata asked Kiyoko while he gazed out the window. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Suga-san and Daichi told us.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked back to Kiyoko, eyes filled with surprise. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean us?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Suga told me and Asahi.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Welp. There goes my secret.”, Hinata thought. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He didn’t tell Nishinoya or Tanaka right?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not from what I know.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s only gonna be a matter of time before they find out anyways.” Hinata said with listlessness in his voice. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s Kageyama, isn’t it?” Yachi looked at Hinata with cautious eyes, as if she didn’t want to say anything that would hurt him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That obvious?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“N-n-nothing like that! Just, h-he likes you too.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How? He kissed another girl.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Th-that doesn’t count!.” Yachi said, looking taken aback. She didn’t know. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes it does.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The air was tense, an uncomfortable silence filling the room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-I’ll go empty the bucket.” Yachi grabbed the bucket making her way to the sink that was on the opposite side of where Hinata and Kiyoko sat. The door opened.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“See Tanaka! Nothing is in-“ Nishinoya exclaimed, completely shutting up when he was faced with Yachi holding a bucket of bloody flowers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes there is! It’s the beautiful Kiyoko, she has blessed our presence!” Tanaka said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nishinoya didn’t respond.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nishinoya?” Tanaka questioned whenever he didn’t respond. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He saw it, the flowers and blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait- Ni-Nishinoya, didn’t you say the bodies of dead students were here? W-why is our beautiful Kiyoko-san here? Yachi and Hinata too!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They aren’t dead! Can’t you see they are just using the room for... for privacy!” Nishinoya said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”No! Hinata is... Hinata.” Tanaka started, pointing a finger to Hinata.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata didn’t care to even process how Nishinoya came up with that, nor why Tanaka believed him. The room, the people, everything felt so bleak. He wanted to close his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Actually, I’m dying.” Hinata said nonchalantly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was quiet, then he heard fast footsteps, and felt two pairs of arms wrap around him. He heard ugly crying. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Our strong first year! Why haven’t you told us?” Tanaka sobbed, it was funny, the way he cried. Hinata knew he was being completely serious, but he couldn’t help laughing just a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shouyou!!!” Nishinoya screeched in his ear, pulling away revealing his crying face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He heard the door open again. Hinata mentally sighed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Couldn’t he catch a break? </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He was met with the faces of the Daichi, Sugawara, Asahi, and, Tsukishima. Yamaguchi and Ennoshita right behind them, holding water bottles and tissues. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, alright! No more crying!” Suga said in a cheerful tone, while trying his hardest to pry Tanaka and Nishinoya off of Hinata. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga motioned for Daichi and Asahi to help. Nishinoya hopped off right away, seeing Asahi and throwing himself at him.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Asahi!!!” Ugly crying from Nishinoya made the words almost unrecognizable. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Our little Shouyou!!” He sobbed some more, stuffing his face into Asahi’s chest, while Asahi rubbed Nishinoya’s back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima stood a distance away, looking throughly disgusted and unimpressed. Yamaguchi bumped next to him, smiling as if telling Tsukishima, “You understand that feeling, dummy.” He grinned faintly, Tsukishima did understand. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How did you all know we were here?” Hinata asked looking around at all his teammates. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I texted everyone, except Nishinoya and Tanaka.” Kiyoko said, her voice staying stable and calm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah! We came here on our own!” Nishinoya said with pride.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">”I don’t think that’s something to be proud of.” Ennoshita remarked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga stood from kneeling in front if Hinata, motioning for everyone to gather around Hinata. Tsukishima seemed reluctant. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m good, I’ll watch.” He said smiling, motioning his hand away. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s all be good friends, Tsukishima!” Daichi said with as much of a forced smile as Tsukishima.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tch.” clicked Tsukishima. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They all gathered around Hinata. He was getting anxious. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wha-“ Hinata started, but soon felt many bodies around him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were all hugging him. It was one big group hug. Hinata felt the warmth. He felt the kindness. He felt like crying. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He started crying. Everyone heard the sobbing, and backed away. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait- why is he crying? I thought this was supposed to be comforting?” Asahi said nervously. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just the emotions! Tears of happiness!” Tanaka laughed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They are, they are, I’m sorry everyone.” Hinata said wiping his tears. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s decided then.” Yamaguchi said smiling at Hinata. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll help you get Kageyama!” Sugawara said pumping a fist in the air. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah we will!” Nishinoya and Tanaka said, a fiery determination in both of their voices. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not you two, it’ll be my plan.” Sugawara said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” Nishinoya said disappointed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Your plan probably would’ve been making a giant volleyball, stuffing Hinata in it, then throwing it at Kageyama.” Daichi remarked in a dead tone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nishinoya and Tanaka looked away, guilty looks on their faces, sweating a bit as they looked away from Daichi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ve come up with a better idea.” Ennoshita said.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But we should get going, you first Hinata, I’ll walk with you to make sure Kageyama doesn’t approach you.” Kiyoko suddenly said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone was confused, before Kiyoko pointed at the clock. It was 12:35 pm. Suga, Ennoshita, and Yamaguchi looked at Kiyoko with an appreciative look. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh- uh, okay. Thank you again everyone. I’m not sure what plan you guys chose, but I hope it works.” Hinata said looking back to the team, a wistful smile showing itself. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It will, you two idiots don’t have much brain going for you two anyways.” Tsukishima said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tsukki!” Yamaguchi scolded. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata scowled at Tsukishima, wanting to yell at him, but choosing not to. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Both Hinata and Kiyoko walked out of the art room, Kiyoko’s arm around Hinata, keeping away anyone who might talk or disturb him. Hinata felt flustered, having someone as pretty as Kiyoko have her arm around him. Even though he didn’t like her, he was still shy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay?” She asked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh, yeah! I’m just wondering what they thought up of.” Hinata laughed. He was a little curious to what they came up with. His chest felt oddly light. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’ll see.” Kiyoko told him, her eyes filled hilarity. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was confused, he’d never seen such an evident emotion on Kiyoko’s face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> They just kept walking. It was 12:37 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Somewhere back in the art room, the volleyball team was waiting for a certain someone to bring something back. They heard fast footsteps, and the door clatter open, revealing a breathless Takeda. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I got what you guys needed.” He said, walking up to Suga, Ennoshita, and Yamaguchi panting heavily. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thank you!” Suga beamed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re welcome Suga, but why do you need the key to the gym closet?” Takeda asked, genuine curiosity showing in his tone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh nothing, we’re just going to help some people out.” Suga said, concealing the mischievous grin that crossed his face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nobody knew what was coming, but they knew whatever it was, it was going cause trouble. The time was 12:41 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Update!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hi everyone! It’s kgcloudss here, </p><p>First of all, I am so so so sorry for not updating the past month. I know you guys are probably wondering what is happening next, but do not worry! I will be adding chapters, I promise. </p><p>These past few weeks have been a little stressful, since I had AP exams I needed to study for, and now I have final exams I need to review for. Once school is over, which for me is the 28th, I will be adding a chapter some time not long after. Once I finish all my finals, I will get to writing, and a new chapter will be up. </p><p>That is all I wanted to say, I hope everyone is staying safe, and eating well. If you are in school, I hope you close the year out easily :) </p><p>Once again, I am so sorry for not putting up new chapters, but I will be on it as soon as I can. </p><p>Thank you for reading, and take care of yourselves! &lt;3</p><p>-kgcloudss</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! I know i’ve been dead, I’m so sorry. I know haikyuu is ending, and it still hasn’t set in. These past 8 years have been so amazing with Haikyuu, and i never want it to end. But all good things come to an end right? Haha. Anyways, i’m here with the second to last chapter. I am still going to write more kagehina and haikyuu fanfics, so don’t worry :&gt; I have a butt load more of ideas to write away. Please enjoy this chapter. Also, thank you for over 100 kudos! It means so much to me. &lt;3 I love you guys, take care. </p><p>- pinabees</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone stood in the room, looking at Sugawara like he had gained another head. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Babe, I love you, but that’s illegal.” Daichi said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You said our plan was bad, but this really is illegal!” Tanaka put out.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I thought you three were supposed to be the good ones.” Tsukishima told Yamaguchi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We are!“ Yamaguchi exclaimed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But, well... this is Kageyama and Hinata we’re talking about. Those two won’t do anything about their feelings unless they are forced into a situation where they have to.” He continued. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It may be illegal, but it works!” Nishinoya chimed in. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, i think regardless of illegality, that’s all that matters!” Tanaka said, arms crossed, a smug look crossing his face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is kidnapping!” Asahi added in an anxious tone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kidnapping for good reason.” Nishinoya assured him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But-“ Asahi was cut off. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We already asked their parents, and they both said yes.” Ennoshita said with subtly mischievous smile.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Asahi looked frightened, “Their parents are in on this too??” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why wouldn’t they be? Hinata’s mother already bet $20 that it would be Hinata who’d say something first, and I have to agree on that one.” Sugawara told the group. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?” Yamaguchi questioned. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s a mother’s intuition.” Suga chuckled. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group looked at each other, puzzled expressions falling onto each other’s faces. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Both of them said that it’d be Kageyama who kissed Hinata first, but I think Hinata might get a rush of excitement if it all went well.” Ennoshita added on. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s too hard to tell, both of those idiots do what they want, when they want.” Tsukshima said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone nodded in agreement. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is there anyone who’d like to place any more bets?” Sugawara beamed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima cleared his throat. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think both of those idiots would try to dig a hole or something.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But you can’t dig through tile? Besides, there’s a window in there, wouldn’t they just try to break it?” Daichi said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tsukishima turned to Daichi, “You think they know that? Also don’t speak of such things, you might manifest it into reality.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re right.” Sighed Daichi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think both of them would yell it out at the same time.” Yamaguchi said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group pondered this, Sugawara being the first to laugh out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I see that, it makes a lot of sense. Both of them would fight on who said it first.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No way! I think Shouyou would say something first!” Nishinoya spoke out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tanaka added noises of agreement, “We raised Hinata to be bold, and strong in the face of pursuit!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s oddly virtuous and deep coming from you two.” Tsukshima remarked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That sounds like an insult!” Nishinoya said, only to be pulled back by Asahi. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“He didn’t mean it like that!” Asahi told Nishinoya. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nishinoya furrowed his brow, “I still think Shouyou will be the first one to confess, I mean did you see how easily he said he’d die soon? Why wouldn’t he just do the same when telling Kageyama he likes him?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wha- Hinata what?” Daichi asked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hinata told us he was going to die! Like it was nothing too!” Nishinoya said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tanaka looked down to the floor, “Yeah, it was a bit worrying. It hurts seeing someone like Hinata sound so down.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yamaguchi looked between the both of them, “That’s why we’re doing what we’re about to do! This is for Kageyama and Hinata.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And our own entertainment.” Ennoshita added. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Suga put a hand over Ennoshita’s mouth, a scowl filling Suga’s face, “They’re not supposed to know that!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, now they do.” Ennoshita said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait wait wait. So your plan was to lock Kageyama and Hinata in the gym closet overnight and hope they work something out?” Yachi asked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yup!” Suga beamed once again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What if they need to pee or something?” Tsukshima questioned. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We left a bucket.” Ennoshita answered. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A bucket!?” Asahi said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What were we supposed to do? Buy a portable restroom?” Ennoshita spoke in a blank tone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Asahi’s eyes moved across the floor, looking for answers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No... but-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’ll be okay!” Nishinoya said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nishinoya looked at the team, “We should just keep them locked in there the entirety of practice, and listen until we hear a confession!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone was silent. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s the smartest thing that’s come out of your mouth since we started talking.” Tsukishima remarked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nishinoya looked at him confused, “What-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That sounds like a wonderful plan!” Suga interrupted. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We will use that idea!” He added. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Really?? That good??” Nishinoya spoke with shining eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sugawara added affirmed Nishinoya’s plan, “We won’t be in trouble for kidnapping, and we get to hear everything!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What if those two do the woo hoo?” Yamaguchi asked flustered. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t think they’re that idiotic.” Tsukshima put in. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yamaguchi looked at Tsukishima.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“At least I hope they aren’t-“ Tsukishima said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I think you’re right.” Yamaguchi giggled. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay, final plan. We’re going to go to the gym earlier than normal, and make Hinata and Kageyama get the volleyballs from the closet. We then push them in and lock the door. Agree?” Sugawara said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone agreed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay then, let’s not mess this up.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bell rung. It was 12:50 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">———————</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Practice was meant to start at 3:20 pm, but all of the team was sitting in the gym at 3:10 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t like waiting.” Nishinoya pouted. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You know those two, they’ll race all the way here the minute the bell rings.” Asahi sighed out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Still, maybe 3:13 would’ve sufficed.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s okay, better be prepared than sorry.” Suga said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They waited a bit more, everyone staring around the gym. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then the bell. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Waiting. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The doors slamming open. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I won!” Hinata shouted. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No way! I definitely out my foot in first!” Kageyama yelled in response. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They started arguing with each other. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I touched the door first!” Hinata told Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah? Well I-“ </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi cleared his throat. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re both here now, so no arguing.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wow! 32.7 seconds, you guys must love coming here!” Suga said with amusement. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You timed it?” Tsukishima asked. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, weren’t you kinda curious too?” Suga responded. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean... yeah.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone moved about, acting like they were going to start practice. Yamaguchi and Sugawara purposely put the volleyballs deeper in the closet, giving them enough time to lock the door. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kageyama! Hinata! Go get the balls!” Daichi called out. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pffft. Balls.” Tanaka elbowed Nishinoya, who had an expression similar to a lenny face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Daichi glared back to them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Okay! Hinata, let’s go.” Kageyama said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata smiled in affirmation. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walked to the closet. Opening the doors, they felt hands push them in. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A loud slam, and the door lock clicking. </span>
</p><p class="p1"><span class="s1">“You two figure out your feelings!” Daichi </span> <span class="s1">called through the door.” </span></p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is for your own good! Sorry!” Yamaguchi said. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t hit Hinata or Kageyama until a minute later. It was Kageyama that got up, banging on the door first. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What feelings?! Open the door! We have nothing to say!” Kageyama shouted. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He kept yelling, frustration growing. His voice was booming, a rough edge filling the ending of every word leaving his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This wasn’t how he imagined it. He felt a small hand touch his arm. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama was so angry, he slapped it away. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A wince. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He immediately turned around, looking at Hinata holding his wrist, fragile eyes looking at Kageyama directly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata put up such a broken smile. One that stabbed Kageyama’s heart. Repeatedly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One that Hinata had been making for the past how many weeks. The smile that Hinata put on when he was trying to keep it together, because what else could he do. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A-am I... Am I that b-bad for you?” Hinata asked. He was close to tears. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama didn’t know that to say. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This isn’t how it was supposed to go. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This is nothing like how it was supposed to go. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama couldn’t say anything. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They just stood there. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looked down at Hinata’s form. Kageyama didn’t look closely before, but he did now. Hinata had gotten smaller, more frail, he was tiny before, but even more so now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sunlight that filtered through the window of the closet, grazed Hinata’s skin and eyes. But no amount of golden sunshine could bring back the glow in his skin that was replaced by dullness. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But it was still a view. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata was still beautiful. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His orange hair that resembled fire, so booming with color like his personality. The way his skin looked so decadent, like pearls. He looked unreal, like a painting. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But the quiet tears running down his face snapped Kageyama out of his daze. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked up at Kageyama’s face, his face looking pained and furrows, Hinata felt like he messed up. He collapsed to his knees, crying again.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Petals. Flowers. Blood.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The floor filled with a pool of all it. More crying. Kageyama dropping behind Hinata. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt arms enfold his body from behind him, a warm feeling pressing up against him, head resting down on his shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’d felt this over and over and over again, but this time it made his heart flutter, and body heat quicker. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A moment of silence. Hinata could hear his beating heart, so loud and so prominent, he was sure Kageyama could hear it too. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They stayed like that for so long, time felt so still. It was like everything ceased, and Hinata could feel every emotion like he did time and time again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata decided it was okay to “purposely” say it out, it’s not like he had much to lose anyways.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt himself turn around, barely side eyeing Kageyama’s surprised face. He felt himself turn around, grabbing hold of Kageyama’s shoulders, pushing him down. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata felt himself straddling Kageyama, looking down on Kageyama’s flustered and shocked face. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata smiled before crying. He felt himself hunch over Kageyama, holding Kageyama’s hand up against the floor. He felt his forehead resting beside Kageyama’s, forehead touch the ground, his sobbing going so quietly. He felt himself whisper so softly. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you... so so much.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulled himself up, looking down at Kageyama whose eyes were wide open. He felt himself say it again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you. I love you. I love you.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He saw his tears drop down onto Kageyama’s face, and run down Kageyama’s cheek. He closed his eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you. I love you. I love you. You kill me, and I love you, so so badly.” Hinata choked out every word, the sounds becoming muffled with his sobs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He felt Kageyama’s hand on his neck, bringing Hinata’s head down to his chest. Hinata stayed there, feeling Kageyama’s arms wrap around him again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was everything to Hinata. Kageyama’s heart was racing so fast too, even though the beat was erratic, it calmed Hinata down. It got quicker, and he heard Kageyama’s voice catch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s heart felt like it was breaking, his body felt so warm, so weak. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I love you too.” Kageyama whispered. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata slowly lifted himself, staying still, just looking at Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata raised his hand, and forcefully slammed it down, just stopping it before Kageyama’s cheek, lightly tapping it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then Hinata inhaled. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You made me wait that long??” Hinata slightly yelled, tone exasperated.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That was supposed kinda romantic!” Kageyama said sitting up, holding his cheek. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was Hinata’s turn to be flustered. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...Sorry.” He said avoiding Kageyama’s eyes. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was like that for a few moments, then he felt Kageyama grab the sides of his face, and oh. <em>Oh. </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They were kissing. Hinata’s eyes were still open, his heart felt wild.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama pulled away, staring at a Hinata whose face color was that of a tomato. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama laughed, to which Hinata got more embarrassed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not supposed to do it so suddenly! Bakageyama!” Hinata said voice cracking, which made Kageyama laugh harder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry... sorry. Just, you’re so cute like this.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata looked scandalized. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I... I-“ Hinata started.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t like you at all!” He yelled at Kageyama, marching to the door demanding the team to open it. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama walked behind Hinata, kissing his cheek before the door opened, leaving a very flustered Hinata standing in the doorway. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You...” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata’s head started pounding. His head suddenly felt light, his body getting heavier every second. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The image of the team looking at him with concerned expressions, and then his chest bursting. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re the... the wor-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A loud thud echoed throughout the gym. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata collapsed onto the floor, the entire team’s eyes set on the sight. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama turning back, running so fast to pick up Hinata’s motionless form. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Sugawara falling back, and Daichi catching him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The way Tsukishima and Ennoshita’s throats became dry. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Yamaguchi, Kiyoko, and Hachi begin crying, and moving over towards the scene. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Asahi trying to check for Hinata’s pulse, and Nishinoya and Tanaka trying to get ahold of Kageyama, who was starting to hyperventilate. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Multiple yells throughout the gym, everyone fumbling with their phones, trying to call 119. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They hear the ambulance rushing closer and closer.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone was frantic, following Kageyama who had a limp Hinata in his arms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama rushed into the ambulance with Hinata. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The noise was deafening. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then it was nothing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a warm, buzzing dusk. It was 5:22 pm. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And so is the ending.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hihi!! I know I’ve been gone for a while, and it’s because I’ve been very very busy, but here is the ending! It’s very simple, I hope it still doesn’t disappoint though :&gt; </p><p>Stay safe, and wear a mask!! Thank you &lt;3</p><p>- pinabees</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For Hinata, it was a short sleep. For Hinata, it was continuous fading in and out, in and out, the frantic movements, bleak lighting, yelling. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So much yelling. So many lights. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was so much. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There was too much. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For Kageyama, it was a long night. The shouting, the rush of people, the waiting outside in that dreary hallway, where you hear nothing but quiet murmurs, patient beeping, and the occasional metal clinks of the medical equipment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">So somber. So blank. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was sorrow. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And then sunlight came. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kageyama sat outside Hinata’s room for the night, patiently waiting. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The sun drew brighter, and then everyone was there. The entire team, waiting for the moment Hinata would wake up.</span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Hinata would wake up to a heavy feeling in his hands, his body having been weakened to a frail state because of how long he kept the disease. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Slowly opening his eyes, to be met with shining beams of sun, too bright for his sore eyes, but he would turn to see the team standing by the doorway in shock. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then there was cheerfulness. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Relief. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A kiss on the cheek from Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Teary eyes from Nishinoya and Tanaka. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Watery eyes from everyone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But most of all relief, relief that he was alive. </span>
</p><p class="p1"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Relief that he still loved Kageyama. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And that Kageyama loved him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was an overwhelming day. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The kind of feeling where you’ve won a game, and you could go back home and cry in happiness. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That once desperate and anxious feeling, being turned into one of airy solace.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And he and Kageyama would go home together, fall asleep in each other’s warmth, and Hinata would be busy looking back up at the once daunting night sky, then back at the mocking alarm clock, and he could only read the numbers:</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">4:44 am </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>